Time to vent
i think i cry myself to sleep at least three or two times a week…no one should ever do that..im not happy here. i want to go home…ive never felt like this ever in my entire life…im always sad and it sucks…i just put on this fake smile and its stupid. I dont have lots of money and its like all they want from me is money…i cant do it all the time..i just cant…oh airyell are you going to give up that 250 before you move out? where the fuck am i suppose to get that..sure let me just sell all my shit to make you fucking happy. i do need money for when i fucking move..maybe if you didnt use the money i fucking gave you for clothes and starbucks you wouldnt be broke..not my problem..oh and btw i thought i was suppose to be the godmother of your child..your sister is too?? thats cool..your whole family hate me and i know it..all cause i told them that your brother in law rapped me at a party and they dont believe me..that makes me feel so much better thanks. now i have to see him before i move back? hes going to be in the same fucking house as me…while my dad is hear…you know how hard its going to be for me not to tell him?? Oh i dont do anything i dont help..i work all damn day..i walk to and from work and you want gas money from me? why its not like i get a ride to work..thats stupid. i help you clean not all the time but most the time yes. sometimes im too fucking tired..you stay at home all day with the baby..its okay i just walked two miles to work and back..my feet dont hurt at all..not to mention i was on them all day…i wake up at five in the morning to go in your room to sleep with you cause you hate sleeping alone…who likes it? no one i have to fucking do it all the time..grow up your going to have to learn how to do it when im gone. you cant have someone there all the time with you. i wanna leave the house sometimes cause i dont wanna be here all you do is be all over albert and dry hump in front of me..cant i just have my friend back..can we hang out..i knew things were going to change..im stupid.
i hate guys..you all are the fucking same i dont give one fuck what you say.. you all cheat..you all lie…you all lead girls on..you all just wanna fuck..and your selfish. so fuck off..thanks for nothing assholes. no i dont just wanna sleep with you..no i dont want you to lead me on to just drop me..no i dont want to flirt and get close just to find out you have a gf..no i dont want to flirt and get close just for you to leave me for another bitch. i dont care if your buff..cool..go tell people at the gym. no i dont care about your fast car..cool drive away from me. i dont care if your rich…go buy a barbie then. seriously im so fucking done..over it. i hate men…ALL. go fuck yourselves..i hope you all get what you deserve one day..pay back times ten cause then you will know what it feels like to be a girl…to be shit on all the fucking time.
i miss my family so much..ive been homesick for awhile now…i miss my dad..i want andrew and my mom back its not fair. i hate it..i hope you both get my kisses i send you every night when i pray…it just doesnt seem real sometimes…to get so close to someone..for you to never hear their voice again..smell them again..touch them again..look at them again…ever..
im done..im crying…add a fourth day now. Fuck everyone. bye